The Leadership Problem No One Talks About: Knowing Something Has to Change

A Leadership Tale as Old as Time

There’s a moment in leadership that rarely gets named.

It doesn’t arrive as burnout or failure. It doesn’t come with a dramatic event or a clear decision point. More often, it shows up quietly between meetings, after a decision that should have felt satisfying but didn’t, or late at night when everything finally slows down.

On the outside, things look fine.
On the inside, something starts to get tense.

I see this moment often. A leader I worked with recently was successful by every visible measure: respected, trusted, moving forward quickly. But they described a growing sense of internal friction. Meetings felt heavier, decisions took more effort, and work that once energized them now felt faintly misaligned—like wearing a jacket that technically fits, but never quite sits right.

They weren’t unhappy.
They weren’t failing.
They weren’t ready to leave.

They simply knew…quietly and persistently, that something had to change.

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Why This Moment Is So Hard to Navigate

This is one of the most misunderstood phases of leadership because there’s no obvious problem to solve. No metric flashing red. No clear next move.

So leaders do what they’ve been trained to do: look outward.

They ask for advice.
They reach for a new framework.
They read another leadership book.
They try to optimize their way through the discomfort.

And while those tools have their place, they rarely help here.

This isn’t a tools problem. It’s a clarity-before-clarity moment.

Frameworks work once direction is clear. Advice helps when the question is already formed. But in this space, the real work is earlier than that. The question itself is still emerging.

What’s Actually Missing: Space

Most leaders live in almost constant reaction—to meetings, expectations, urgency, and other people’s needs. In that pace, subtle internal signals get drowned out. I call it the leadership or corporate fight or flight. We literally just barrel through the internal signs.

So instead of listening, leaders adapt by tolerating misalignment and staying productive while slowly disconnecting from what actually matters. That internal friction isn’t a weakness. It’s information.

Often, it’s the signal that you’ve outgrown a role, a way of leading, or an identity that once served you well. But without space to pause and examine it, that signal never turns into clarity. It just becomes background noise.

The Shift Most Leaders Never Make

Clarity doesn’t come from forcing a decision.

It comes from allowing yourself to notice what’s already there just long enough to separate what’s yours from what you’ve inherited, what still feels alive from what’s simply familiar, and lastly, what you’re choosing from what you’re tolerating.

This kind of clarity requires space. Not dramatic change. Not decisive action. Just intentional pause.

Try This (Right Now)

Before you move on with your day, take two minutes.

No phone. No planning. No fixing. Just stop right here to reflect.

Ask yourself:
What feels heavy in my leadership right now?
What do I keep pushing past instead of paying attention to?

You don’t need an answer. Just notice what comes up.

That awareness alone is often the beginning of real change.

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Key Takeaways

• Quiet friction isn’t failure. It’s data you need to pay attention to.

• Not every leadership shift starts with action. Some start with pause and quiet reflection.

• Clarity isn’t forced. It truly emerges when space is created.

If this resonates and you’re in that in-between place where you know something has to change but can’t yet name what—I’m hosting a free guided clarity session later this month designed specifically for this moment.

No fixing. No frameworks. Just structured space to think and reflect.

Sometimes the most powerful leadership move isn’t pushing forward — it’s creating enough space for the next truth to surface.

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